That feeling came again tonight. The feeling as though there were someone gripping my heart and yanking it out of my chest. I don't know why it often visits me. It's like a ghost that haunts me every time I like someone. I don't even know what this feeling is. It makes me want to cry. If this is what love is, why is it so painful? I thought love was supposed to be something nice.
I don't think I really know what it is to love and be loved. I'm not a strong person when it comes to my own feelings. I never have been. Though I often reject the idea of being in a relationship because it seems to lead to nowhere, I find myself falling in love regardless. People find me objective, analytic and frigid in certain respects, but when it comes to love, my character changes altogether. Why does the heart have such control over the mind? I am a contradiction myself.