The Informer

24.6.15

Ramadan

How does one appreciate ramadan when it is the number of hours before iftar that they are obsessed with?

We check the time every now and then to see how long it is before we can break our fast, mindlessly worrying about our empty stomachs when what we should be worrying about is the empty stomachs of the poor fakir. We check the time every now and then to see how long it is before we can break our fast when what we should be checking is the number of good deeds we have done throughout the day.

Ramadan is a month of empathy such that we deprive ourselves of worldly pleasures so that we see how the less fortunate are faring. Ramadan is a month of forgiveness such that we seek forgiveness from Allah and those whom we have wronged one way or another. Ramadan is a month of physical, mental and spiritual cleansing such that we detoxify ourselves from the poisons in our body, mind and soul through fasting and prayer.

3.5.15

Paris


 
3 of the must go spots for tourists in Paris: the Eiffel Tower,the Louvre, and the Palace of Versailles.

5.4.15

Keukenhof


If you like a flower, don't pluck it for it will wither away and die; let it be and watch it flourish

30.3.15

Tak sospir dah pasal kau. Aku lagi sospir dengan karangan pragmatik macam tahi aku yang dihantar tadi. Pffft.

17.3.15


Francesco Cilea: Io Son L'umille Ancella (from Adriana Lecouvreur) sung by Maria Callas

I Miei Sospiri

That feeling came again tonight. The feeling as though there were someone gripping my heart and yanking it out of my chest. I don't know why it often visits me. It's like a ghost that haunts me every time I like someone. I don't even know what this feeling is. It makes me want to cry. If this is what love is, why is it so painful? I thought love was supposed to be something nice.

I don't think I really know what it is to love and be loved. I'm not a strong person when it comes to my own feelings. I never have been. Though I often reject the idea of being in a relationship because it seems to lead to nowhere, I find myself falling in love regardless. People find me objective, analytic and frigid in certain respects, but when it comes to love, my character changes altogether. Why does the heart have such control over the mind? I am a contradiction myself.

14.3.15

I'd rather not fall in love but it just happens.

5.3.15

Why is my heart broke?

Lana Del Rey - Million Dollar Man


I've been hurt. I am hurt. All lead to pain. Why has love never been in my favour? I don't know. Sometimes I find myself rejecting love and saying that it's of no good use, but then I feel a nasty kind of sorrow digging deep into my chest. A sorrow that is as vast but as empty as the universe. I imagine myself crying and grabbing every bit of sanity that is left. I feel the inside of my chest and try to find the source of my sorrow but what I find is a dark humour thick and as black as tar dripping from the cupping palms of my hand. Perhaps that's the love that festered within myself turned into the stuff of chagrin and lachrymose due to failure.

I'm writing this because the feeling crept up to me again today. It comes every now and then. The black bile oozed from the cracks in my chest. In time, it might completely mortify me.