Double edge

I am animus. I am the hate that dwells in your chest, pricking your heart with needles soaked in poison. I am the blood that spills from the slitted throats of innocent children. I am the red tide that brings death and destruction to the living. I am the din that gives birth to the demons that haunt your mind and taunt your soul.

I am also sorrow. I am the depression that grips your emotions with claws of rusted steel, peeling your sanity bit by bit. I am the dark humour that fills the night and that blinds your eyes. I am the shroud of fog that confuses you and renders your senses useless. I am the silence of the dead that drives you to the brink of losing your mind.

I am the bliss that fills your breast with joy and happiness. I am the wild flowers of May whose scent dances in the meadows and lingers on your shoulder. I am the holy light in which you bathe and cleanse your body, mind and soul. I am the lord who descends from the heavens and saves the earth. I am the heaven that you seek. I am salvation. I am purity. I am hope. I am love.

Ramadan

How does one appreciate ramadan when it is the number of hours before iftar that they are obsessed with?

We check the time every now and then to see how long it is before we can break our fast, mindlessly worrying about our empty stomachs when what we should be worrying about is the empty stomachs of the poor fakir. We check the time every now and then to see how long it is before we can break our fast when what we should be checking is the number of good deeds we have done throughout the day.

Ramadan is a month of empathy such that we deprive ourselves of worldly pleasures so that we see how the less fortunate are faring. Ramadan is a month of forgiveness such that we seek forgiveness from Allah and those whom we have wronged one way or another. Ramadan is a month of physical, mental and spiritual cleansing such that we detoxify ourselves from the poisons in our body, mind and soul through fasting and prayer.

Lighthouse

My tears are blasted as the frigid wind buffets my visage,
I descend into the depths below,
The sea awaits my arrival,
I am on my way,

My heart fractures each time your eyes shift from mine,
Fragments of it fall as it is defeated by all your challenges,
Like shards of glass, it shatters,
It breaks and is left inoperable,

With every  instance you hurt me,
Despair grips my heart and yanks it out of my chest,
Leaving me begging that I am undeprived of my sentience,
Alas, it is better that I am unpossessed of it that causes me insuperable pain,

My cheeks are cold and wet,
The wait discontinues as I reach my destination,
I have arrived,
My watery grave.

Difference

I felt it. It wasn't the same emotion I felt all this while.
I was sad, yes, that was undeniable.
I felt the sorrow reach my core.
It made me weep and shiver.

I lost it.
There was no more anger.
It was gone.
But all that remains is sorrow and despair.

I realised that it was useless.
But I still couldn't move on.
The sadness was still there.
It didn't go away.

You swore.
I believed in you.
You lied to me.
I cried.

I still couldn't let go of those memories.
You weren't able to see how much I loved you.
I wasn't able to see my reflection in your eyes.
You couldn't keep your promise to me.

You were my all.
I was in love.
You left me.
I cried.

There were nights when I would think about you.
I walked alone and remembered you.
It was cold.
My tears dropped again.

The heart that was once filled with love is now hollow.
The heart that you kept safe.
The heart that can never heal.
The heart that still yearns for you.

I sat down and hugged myself.
Because you weren't there to hug me.
I looked up at the moon.
My tears dropped again.

I couldn't understand what was really happening.
I laid on my bed and tried to sleep.
I couldn't.
I was thinking of you.

By : Kei

Elegy

I can see the tower,
It stands concrete in the eye of my mind,
In flames that wash and scower,
The sins that you leave behind,

You should have died,
You should I have murdered,
But I could never hide,
From my sin to my darling little songbird,

The years of suffering,
They have taught me a virtue,
Lovers though so promising,
Never stay faithful and true,

Your eyes leer so eerily,
Damned is your visage,
I burn in flames so fiery,
Shiver in blasting winds so frigid,

The truth left me begging,
On my knees so pathetically,
That you would not stop hugging,
My body so faithfully,

My sorrow is my witness,
My tears hold evidence,
Of how I loved you my mistress,
With no end nor cadence,

My heart has died,
Yours never was alive,
Because of the countless nights I cried,
And for the fading life I strive,

I rest in my grave,
Without you my love,
Not having the love you gave,
Because it was a problem I could not solve,

Penitence is futile,
Returning is of no avail,
For I am now in the ground a mile,
Still crying and pale,

You stand above me,
Dressed in an ensemble black,
Laughing at how I lived pathetically,
Mourning for the love you never gave back,

This is my elegy,
The one that pities my soul,
How I wish that you had saved me,
From my despair foretold.

By : Kei

The precipice of defeat

The deprivation of valour,
I shall close my eyes and dream it all away,
The darkness of the night shall be replaced with the burning sight of the sun,
A rainbow beyond that hill yonder,

The smell of the sun is on your shirt,

You were always by my side,
But we have outgrown each other,
Now little is left to cherish,
Memories are left to be kept in our hearts,

Never throw your dreams away,
Throw them to the sky,
And hope that the wind carries them to the heavens,
To fly with the birds and sigh in relief,

Old dust is stirred,

It shimmers in the light,
Dancing in the sunlight locked within a shabby room,
Where a window channels the summer light,
Of orange and yellow,

An old story unfolds

You may not notice it,
But we have grown,
Our childhood was so sweet,
As sweet as molasses,

When we were small, everything seemed so simple,
Life was a delicious breeze,
The smell of jasmine wafted in the ether,
The sun was hot and dry,

The fields were our playground,
The world was ours to explore,
We worried about nothing,
Our dreams were all nice,

One prayer is granted

I liked the way you dressed,
A simple white tee and shorts with a pair of sandals,
You had that silly straw hat,
You always made me smile,

Your eyes had that innocence,
An innocence that seemed so delicate,
A flare burned in your heart,
One that was fuelled by curiosity,

You had scraped knees and elbows,
Scruffy short hair,
A missing tooth,
And a brave heart,

We all have grown up, everything changes,

The heart of our early years,
We were so young and fresh,
Growing up seemed like an eternity,
An eternity that would never come,


By: Kei

Leave me be.

Last night I was thinking of you,
Reminiscing days past,
Days when we were blissfully together,
Days when there wasn't a care in the world,

We fought many battles together,
Faced obstacles and nuisances,
Combated doubts and insecurities,
Hand in hand,

The sharp sounds of the chime bring me back to consciousness,
Back to the reality that you are now gone,
Leaving me to face this world alone,
Scared and frightened,

You promised that you would be by my side,
Till the end of time,
Holding me when I was afraid,
Catching me when I was going to fall,

But the words,
Those stinging words that came from your very mouth,
The words that told me you were leaving,
They were like an arrow piercing right through my heart,

Leave me be,
Let me go on with this life alone,
I don't want to recall memories past,
For this heart has been wounded,

This is a story of a forbidden love,
A story of nostalgia,
Of when a boy lost everything,
Because of love,

By: Kei (Inspired by "Hati ini telah dilukai : Kris Dayanti")

Pas De Deux

A pas de deux can never be performed alone. Only a couple can effectively perform a pas de deux for one performer alone wouldn't be sufficient in conveying the true beauty of a composition. One performer alone could never display the absolute genius of a set of steps, twisting and turning, extending and folding, jumping and flying across the stage.

A pas de deux with only one performer is considered as a failure for one alone cannot dance without a partner.

Pas De Deux,

Pas De Deux,

A dance bound by love,
Performed by an intimate couple,
A display of affection,
Sealed with a kiss,

Entrée,

They greet each other gracefully with a bow and courtesy,
Each finding the other dashing and delectable,
Admiring from near and far,
With touches so sensual and glances so seductive,

Adagio,

Slowly they craft their steps,
deliberately shifting their limbs,
Swiftly pronouncing what is shown,
Decadently and luxuriantly.

Truth,

Without a partner, he is merely setting his daft steps on stage,
Ignorant of the curses and hisses of the crowd,
His duet was but a mere illusion,
Blurring his eyes with an ethereal shadow of his past lover,

Pas De Seul,

His whole performance was nothing but a variation,
Executing his steps in solitude,
With nobody to smile with whilst he twirls,
Tis a lonely ballet,

Realising,

He weeps for the one he loves,
Tears trickling down his cheeks,
Hiding his emotions behind a mask,
Never to reveal the slightest sorrow,

Mortified,

He ferociously dances in bacchanale,
Drunkenly swaying from side to side,
Inducing himself into an altered state of consciousness,
A cocktail of emotions stir within his mind and soul,

Coda,

The stage drags him down,
Fallen, he trips and stumbles,
Despair dominates his sentience,
Murdering him from within,

Ending,

He is now numb,
He is now emotionless,
He is now dead,
The curtain falls.

By:Kei

Painful Passion

The venom has seeped into my heart,
Slowly killing me from within,
Putting a stop to my worldly pleasures,
A moratorium to my daily endeavours

The life within me ebbs away,
As if being the cascading tides of the sea,
Like the winds that once blasted my face,
Deliciously scenting me with the perfume of sweet roses and jasmine,

The poison has begun to take effect,
Gradually empowering my bodily soul,
Hypnotising me with a sense of euphoric animus,
Wasting away the energy to live,

Scorching,
The force that animates me burns out,
Searing my skin and flesh,
Ensuing me to smoulder in flames invisible,

Tell me now,
How to heal the wounds,
How to cure the ailments,
How to clean the impurities,

The abnormalities impair my judgement,
They incinerate every part of myself,
They reduce me to ashes,
They torch me ablaze,

Leave me,
So that I can convalesce,
exorcising myself of the demons that dwell within,
Purging the insanities that excruciate my mind,

Farewell,


By: Kei

You shall bear my grudge

A heart broken is a lifetime's worth of pain,
A lifetime's worth of depression,
A lifetime's worth of deathly thoughts,
A lifetime's worth of knives piercing through your spleen,

The fury of hell boils in my blood,

For you,
I bear this grudge,
I endow this curse,
I conjure the tempests from hell,

I summon the witches of Thessaly,
To murder every bit of your being ,
To devour every last morsel of your sanity,
To destroy every single trace of your existence,

For you,
Reconciliation is just a figment of your imagination,
Redemption is just a fragment of your dreams,
Penitence holds no value,

Although the feigned smiles were sweet,
The bitter taste of your lies still linger,
The putridity of your actions still haunt me,
The lechery of your attributes still disgust me,

How dare you,
You impertinent fool,
You insolent child,
You imperceptible, minute, speck of dust,

I am not impervious towards all evil,
For I have emotions,
For I be sentient,
For I am human,

You are nothing but a salacious creature,
Lurking in the shadows ready to pounce,
On unsuspecting victims with only one thing in mind,
That is deception,

You lure them with your charm,
Your outstanding wit,
Your delicious smile,
Your exuberant scent,

I was a fool to have fallen into your trap,
I was attracted to your luxuriant scent,
I was infatuated with your profusion in seeming docile,
As if being the mouse lured by cheese,

But now you are dead,
You live no longer,
You have fallen,
You have gone,

You shall bear my grudge till the end of time.


By: Kei

If.

If only I had you in my arms,
the pain bearing deep in my heart would subside,
the pain of wanting you by my side,
the pain of longing for your affection,

If only you were near me,
I would die a happy man,
I would leap to the sky like never before,
I would serenade you with showers of love and joy,

If only I could see you smiling at me one more time,
All the evils of the world would perish,
All the bad memories would be forgotten,
All the wounds would heal,

Because you are here,
If only you were here.

By : Kei

The Blue Danube

Pitter Patter,
How the glistening droplets splatter,
Acting in my favour,
Without any matter,

Coming into sight from the hill yonder,
A drake and a swan greet each other,
To the river they come hither,
Startling the horses into a canter,

Sprinkle twinkle,
The stars they all mingle,
Like being droplets on a web they dangle,
Crowded but minus the hassle,

Though they are in quite a bustle,
Nothing is too hard for god to handle,
Nor is anything too subtle,
For god orders these stars like horses in saddle,

Splish splash,
The swan and drake play in the marsh,
Upsetting the quietly swimming fish,
Making them all go Hush!

The swan being endowed with a sash,
Never brags out in a lash,
But plays with the drake in greens lush,
Wading in the gooey mush,

By : Kei

Glissando

The keys are struck,
The rhythmic melody ensues,

Marcato, Marcato.
Accents emphasised,
Mezzo Forte in sforzando,
Unique in every way,

Let them know,
How exquisite one's own piece is,
How enigmatic one's own piece is,
How ethereal one's own piece is,

Fortissimo,fortissimo,
Louder I say!
Entrance this world with the sound of fury,
Let the augmented sounds mesmerise the stage with a repeating fugue,
Full of animus and sorrow,

Prestissimo, prestissimo,

By: Kei

Unfinished piece, I don't have any inspiration to continue writing this anymore.

The Throng, The King. The Emperor.

Frozen winds dominate this land,
This land of darkness and despair,
Where ravens wait vigilantly for the next victim to arrive,
Weak and diseased,

The breath of delicious roses never meet this place,
The scent of glorious lavender is nothing but a distant dream,
Here, there is no talk of bright sunny days,
No taste of a warm summer's breeze,

The stench of death engulfs this plain,
Constantly suffocating pure thoughts with morbid obsessions,
Ever purging people of their holy sanity,
Luring them out of their sacred sanctity,

Doubt can be seen scurrying the crescents,
In not just one or two, but a throng,
The whole town is paraded by such,
Such that the avenues are brimming with a deluge of nasty thoughts,

Thoughts that are conjured from the emptiness of the heart,
Thoughts that are manufactured from insecurities,
Thoughts that are manifested from the judgement implied,
Thoughts that are engendered from constant paranoia,

Despair brags with all it's grandeur,
As if being the king that transcends,
where in reality he is the one who cries in the shadows,
In truth he is the one who walks down the marble stairs with tears trickling down his cheeks,

Head bowed down till his knees,
Not to reveal his visage,
Tail tucked between his thighs,
Arms hugging his hollow chest,

Death smiles with a hypnotising grin,
With his bony hand grasping a sharpened scythe,
He is the kindest amongst the three,
Which entitles him as the emperor,

He gives no mercy and fulfils his purpose,
One blow and it is done,
No more doubt,
No more despair,

Yet why do I still care?

By: Kei

FSDABFHLQWFasc

I need to reform.
I need a change of identity

~Danza Macabra~

Round and round they go,
Dancing in their torn gowns,
of silk and angora,
Dyed in shades of darkness,

The crescent moon serenades their damned ritual,
Being the ethereal light that stirs them from their eternal sleep,
The eerie lunar glow adds to the ghostly ambiance,

Round and round they go,
the emperor sounds a fetching rondo,
Full of animus,
In his exquisitely drab ensemble,

The soiree intensifies,

Round and round they go,
The Marquis twirls a grotesque dance,
In allegretto,
Vivaciously strutting his daft steps,

Danza Macabra,

Round and round they go,
A lustful couple delivers a morbidly passionate kiss,
Amongst the phalanx of other deathly creatures,
Bound to servitude by stigmata,

Dies Irae,

Though they may be creatures of nocturne,
All from the realm of darkness hallow them,
Though they have sworn fealty to a black allegiance,
All from the plains of hell consecrate them,

The flame ensues,

Craven, craven!
They shiver in the presence of the holy,
They genuflect in the presence of the sacred,
They prostrate in the presence of the righteous,

Requiem, requiem!
Down to the abyssal depths you go!
In shackles do they sweep across the stage,
Hist! There shall be no more of this unholiness,
Back to the rotting earth, Back to the dusty grave, Back to the forsaken pits of hell!

By: Kei